Did you just eat watermelon or are you just happy to see me?

Scientists have found that watermelon may literally be a quick picker-upper. Apparently, watermelon contains a chemical that has the same effects as the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra. So there you have it, science is now confirming things that happened on Seinfeld, or at least coming close. In an infamous Seinfeld episode, George gets his vitality restored after eating mango, but that's still a fruit so that's close enough for our purposes.

There's no word on why the scientists were looking for this particular chemical in watermelon in the first place. So we can only imagine that it can get lonely in the lab. Poor scientists.

But before you rush out to chow down on some watermelon this 4th, it's worth noting that to get any appreciable effect from the fruit, you'd have to eat six cups of it. So you may be too full and bloated to be of any use in the bedroom.

Bad boys win in the mating game

I'm not sure we needed a study to confirm this, but here it is just the same: Two new studies suggest that bad guys tend to do better with the ladies than the nice guys. What's next, a study confirming that water is wet? But I digress.

The more interesting part of the studies is the finding that bad guys tend to have negative, antisocial personality traits, namely: narcissism, a manipulative nature that would make Machiavelli proud and the thrill-seeking and callousness of psychopaths. Put these all together and you have what is known as the "dark triad." And guys who display the highest levels of these traits have more partners and more desire for short-term relationships.

So these guys have game that makes ladies weak at the knees, but they're not sticking around to raise any babies, which raises a really important question: Why are women falling for these guys?